Sunday, May 29, 2016

Letting Go! From my hands...to His.

Letting Go!
From my hands...to His.


The first time I held her hand she was so small and fragile.
Why would God entrust his child to someone so flawed?
I remember her holding tightly to my hand as she learned to walk.
She was so unsure, but then I let go and she took her first steps.


And then she held my hand as we crossed the street for the first day of class.
She was so nervous, hoping there would be new friends for her to meet.
But she was afraid and held my hand tightly, not wanting me to leave.
Then I let her go and entrusted her to the teacher’s outstretched hands.


Next, she held my hand when she went through the challenges of life.
She grasped them so tightly, wishing for the nightmares to be over.
And then I had to let her go, as once again I entrusted her care to others.
Giving her the encouragement to stay strong. And she made it through!


And then, one day, it was I who was grasping her hand.
Not wanting to let go. Afraid of the unknown.
Wishing for the nightmare to be over.
Not wanting her to leave.


Time stood still as I was taken back to the beginning,
To the moment she first grasped my hand with her delicate fingers.
Then in a flash I was remembering her first day of school,
but now I was the nervous one,  
hoping there would be friends and family for her to meet.


This time it was I who was afraid to let go. I wasn’t ready!
There was so much more that I wanted to say!
So much more that I wanted to do.
So many of her dreams yet to live.


Once again I had to let her go and entrust her care to another.
It had now come full circle and I was just beginning to see
just how hard it must have been for God
when He let go of her hand and entrusted her to me.


But this time when I let her go I knew she wasn’t going away.

She was going home.

painted by Reesa's sister, Brandee

Last time Reesa and Dad held hands

Reesa reaching for God

Angel painting by Brandee Kammerman
Hand paintings by Karen Tarlton
Prose by Dad

Friday, February 19, 2016

I hope my guardian angel has a broken wing… To Reesa from Dad

I hope my guardian angel has a broken wing…

The best angels started with broken wings.
How else could she know how to ease your suffering?
She personally knows the hurt and she has felt the pain
She knows what is needed to make you whole again.

She knows the comfort longed for in the lonely places of your heart
And knows of the ache you feel, since you’ve been apart.
Wanting a hug, wanting to hear someone say it will be alright
When you’re not even sure you’ll make it through the night.

Your guardian from above once hurt and had struggles like you.
She once prayed and longed for the same things you do.
Who better to help than one who understands
And who overcame all of this life’s demands?

The one who has lived it knows the feelings…
The anguish and pain, and all of the suffering.
When God sends someone to give assistance and aid,
Who do you think he sends, with answers custom made?

The very one you helped along the way.
Holding her through the dark night until the dawn of a new day.
Remember all the times you wiped away her tears?
The times you helped to dissipate her fears?

Well, she hasn’t forgotten, she treasures them in her heart
The memories are so fresh and real for her, like beautiful art.
She remembers them every moment of every day.
And that gives her love to impart along her way.

And then there was that day when you could do no more.
And you would soon experience hurt and grief like never before.
You held her hand, and kissed her head
And never left the side of her hospital bed.

You tell her the love you have for her is real.
The love she already knows and feels.
And then you set her free, you let her go
And that very moment is so sacred and hallowed.

You pray for someone to take her by the hand,
Someone to embrace her and help her to stand.
And then you cried, cried like never before.
Your whole soul seemed to tear and you could bear no more.

And then one day, in His infinite mercy
The Lord opened your eyes to see,
Your beautiful daughter so happy and free
From this earth’s trials, and she was smiling!

She has so much more love to give,
She longs to give you a hug and tell you to live.
And for you to hear her say “I love you” one more time
And to hold your hand and be always by your side.

So until the day that you reunite
She will be close by to help you through your dark nights.
And as life goes on and you still grieve
She will be the first to be there, the last one to leave.


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

"Dream Train" a song inspired by Reesa's life.



This beautiful song was written and performed by Annie Cowden and accompanied by guitarist Trevor Price.

This song is meant to capture the the message of hope that Reesa lived for shared with others. As you listen to the words and music you can feel the emotions captured in her voice and you can't help but feel there is a reason to keep going forward in life no matter what happened in the past!

Special thanks to Annie and Trevor for sharing their talents with us! They are truly amazing artists!



Reesa's Legacy continures with Safe Hearts app!


Reesa's Legacy continues with SAFE HEARTS!

As part of Reesa's Legacy we have just introduced a FREE phone app called SAFE HEARTS. It can be downloaded at the Android or Iphone store. Once you have downloaded the app please make sure you share it with others.
(Read below to see the description.)



screenshot

Description

This app will be full of resources, links to support groups and phone numbers for help. (The resources are already out there. People just need to be pointed in the right direction.) It will help parents and family members, as well as classmates and friends. It will give tips and help to answer tough questions. Here are some of the topics this app will be addressing: Suicide Abuse Family Life Eating Disorders Help and resources Emotional & Mental Health Addictions Running Away Teen Pregnancy Self Harm But it won’t stop there. We want to help remove the stigma and misconceptions surrounding those that have different type of struggles in their lives. This will help educate classmates, family members and friends. We want to empower people to overcome their challenges and be an advocate to help others do the same. The app will be designed to help uplift and give daily encouragement as well as providing opportunities to volunteer and give service.

Available for free download @


Android Native 

Monday, July 27, 2015

Reesa's 2nd Celebration of Life & Project Announcement

We will be having a celebration tomorrow! We will be celebrating Reesa's life, memories & the legacy she left.
We will be meeting at Provo Cemetery @ 7pm and will be having treats & music.

We will also be announcing the launch of Reesa's Legacy Project (phone app) and an original song written, sung and played by two local artists. It is a beautiful tribute to her memory!

Bring a balloon or two for the balloon launch @ 7:20pm.

See you there!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Reesa's Legacy to continue with a DVD and phone App

Reesa’s Legacy

My daughter, Reesa Kammerman, was involved in a tragic car accident on July 12, 2013. She died three times that day, each time being resuscitated. However, 16 days later she died for the last time.

Ten months after her death a video she had made was discovered on the computer. It is a heart wrenching video that lasts only a few minutes but ends with a beautiful message of hope!  In the video she tells of her challenges in life and how she overcame them. And she tells it all without saying a word!

We had an overwhelming feeling to share it. We call the video “Reesa’s Legacy”.

When the video was uploaded to YouTube we received several phone calls from various news outlets asking to tell her story.  


Once the stories were out we received so many comments and learned how Reesa’s message has helped so many people. The response was so great that I knew we had to do something more to help even more people.  

We are making a short documentary of her life. We have hired an interviewer and videographer to create a documentary of Reesa’s life. It will document her challenges and triumphs, her fears and faith and her ultimate triumph of unlocking the secrets of coping with her challenges.

Teachers, counselors, hospital staff, relatives and friends will be interviewed to get different perspectives of her life. We have also hired singers, songwriters and musicians to write songs using her journal entries as the inspiration for the songs so it will be from a first person perspective.

Once the DVD is completed, we will be launching a free phone app that will give resources and help to those that have similar struggles in life.  

Our family had learned the hard way how to deal with and overcome these obstacles. We don’t want others to have to learn the same way.

I remember the first time that I walked into Reesa’s room and saw her cutting and the blood was everywhere. I didn’t know what to do and was almost frozen with shock. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to call the counselor. She was able to guide me and helped us with the next steps.

And then there was the  bulimia and suicide attempts as an additional way she tried to deal with the pain of the rapes and sexual abuse and the resulting court trial.

There was so much trial and error as we tried to find the best way to help Reesa and our family. Over time we learned so much and acquired the tools to help us. It turned out that all the resources were out there but we didn’t know where to find them.

How much better off we could have been if we learned of these resources earlier. But we ended up stumbling thru things while we found out about the answers we were looking for. Everything from support groups and counseling to crisis lines and hospitals.

Unfortunately during this time we also had to learn how to deal with and ignore the stigma and labels people put on us. To say it was difficult is a gross understatement. 

How I wish we would have had a place to go to so we could have learned sooner and spared weeks and months of trial and error. As a result of our experiences we are designing a phone app that will be a one stop shop to learn about the topics and the resources to help individuals and families know where to get help.

We will be working closely with counselors, hospitals, teachers and law enforcement to put together a very practical and helpful app. It will be full of resources, links to support groups and phone numbers for help. (The resources are already out there. People just need to be pointed in the right direction.)

It will help parents and family members, as well as classmates and friends. It will give tips and help to answer tough questions. 

Some of those questions are:  
Why does my daughter have an eating disorder and what can I do to help?
My child is cutting, what should I do?
What can I do if I am being bullied at school and I'm getting so angry?
My friend is talking a lot about suicide...what now?

One night while pondering what to do a stream of ideas came into my mind and I started writing. Reesa had gone thru so many different types of struggles throughout her life and I started to list them. After I listed them I realized that she was able to relate to so many people and that they could relate to her. Other teenagers seem to relate more to her than the adults in their life. Here’s 
the topics that we will be addressing on the app:

·             Suicide (hot lines, prevention)
·             Self-harm
·             Eating disorders
·             Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional)
·             Bullying
·             Step family
·             Depression & metal illness
·             Substance abuse & addictions (drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling)
·             Dating violence
·             Grief, death, dying, illness, counseling
·             Teen pregnancy
·             Running away

But it won’t stop there. We want to help remove the stigma and misconceptions surrounding those that have different type of struggles 
in their lives. This will help educate classmates, family members and friends. We want to empower people to overcome their challenges 
be an advocate to help others do the same. The app will be designed to help uplift and give daily encouragement by sending out messages 
of hope and inspiration to their phones throughout the day.

This project is being made possible by people donating their time and talents and discounting their services. We are self-funding this project but will be open to donations should anyone be inclined.

This app and documentary will be free to everyone!

You can get to know Reesa more by looking at the past posts on this blog.

The launch will be on her Celebration of Life on July 28th.




Sunday, January 25, 2015

We are working on a video of Reesa's life. If anyone has any pictures or videos with Reesa in them, please post them on her facebook or email them to michaelkammerman@gmail.com. Thanks!!!
p.s. You can view Reesa's Legacy video in the May posting of this blog.