Letting Go! From my hands...to His.

Letting Go!

From my hands...to His.

The first time I held her hand she was so small and fragile.

Why would God entrust his child to someone so flawed?

I remember her holding tightly to my hand as she learned to walk.

She was so unsure, but then I let go and she took her first steps.

And then she held my hand as we crossed the street for the first day of class.

She was so nervous, hoping there would be new friends for her to meet.

But she was afraid and held my hand tightly, not wanting me to leave.

Then I let her go and entrusted her to the teacher’s outstretched hands.

Next, she held my hand when she went through the challenges of life.

She grasped them so tightly, wishing for the nightmares to be over.

And then I had to let her go, as once again I entrusted her care to others.

Giving her the encouragement to stay strong. And she made it through!

And then, one day, it was I who was grasping her hand.

Not wanting to let go. Afraid of the unknown.

Wishing for the nightmare to be over.

Not wanting her to leave.

Time stood still as I was taken back to the beginning,

To the moment she first grasped my hand with her delicate fingers.

Then in a flash I was remembering her first day of school,

but now I was the nervous one,  

hoping there would be friends and family for her to meet.

This time it was I who was afraid to let go. I wasn’t ready!

There was so much more that I wanted to say!

So much more that I wanted to do.

So many of her dreams yet to live.

Once again I had to let her go and entrust her care to another.

It had now come full circle and I was just beginning to see

just how hard it must have been for God

when He let go of her hand and entrusted her to me.

But this time when I let her go I knew she wasn’t going away.

She was going home.

painted by Reesa's sister, Brandee

Last time Reesa and Dad held hands

Reesa reaching for God

Angel painting by Brandee Kammerman

Hand paintings by Karen Tarlton

Prose by Dad

I hope my guardian angel has a broken wing… To Reesa from Dad

I hope my guardian angel has a broken wing…

The best angels started with broken wings.

How else could she know how to ease your suffering?

She personally knows the hurt and she has felt the pain

She knows what is needed to make you whole again.

She knows the comfort longed for in the lonely places of your heart

And knows of the ache you feel, since you’ve been apart.

Wanting a hug, wanting to hear someone say it will be alright

When you’re not even sure you’ll make it through the night.

Your guardian from above once hurt and had struggles like you.

She once prayed and longed for the same things you do.

Who better to help than one who understands

And who overcame all of this life’s demands?

The one who has lived it knows the feelings…

The anguish and pain, and all of the suffering.

When God sends someone to give assistance and aid,

Who do you think he sends, with answers custom made?

The very one you helped along the way.

Holding her through the dark night until the dawn of a new day.

Remember all the times you wiped away her tears?

The times you helped to dissipate her fears?

Well, she hasn’t forgotten, she treasures them in her heart

The memories are so fresh and real for her, like beautiful art.

She remembers them every moment of every day.

And that gives her love to impart along her way.

And then there was that day when you could do no more.

And you would soon experience hurt and grief like never before.

You held her hand, and kissed her head

And never left the side of her hospital bed.

You tell her the love you have for her is real.

The love she already knows and feels.

And then you set her free, you let her go

And that very moment is so sacred and hallowed.

You pray for someone to take her by the hand,

Someone to embrace her and help her to stand.

And then you cried, cried like never before.

Your whole soul seemed to tear and you could bear no more.

And then one day, in His infinite mercy

The Lord opened your eyes to see,

Your beautiful daughter so happy and free

From this earth’s trials, and she was smiling!

She has so much more love to give,

She longs to give you a hug and tell you to live.

And for you to hear her say “I love you” one more time

And to hold your hand and be always by your side.

So until the day that you reunite

She will be close by to help you through your dark nights.

And as life goes on and you still grieve

She will be the first to be there, the last one to leave.